Heartache
by catsandanimenerd
Summary: Lea's a mess and Ventus can't fix it. Cue ugly sobbing. OR: When you lose people close to your heart, it tends to shatter into tiny bite size pieces and if you haven't had a heart in a while, you tend to ignore it until you're literally bleeding all over the guy who isn't Roxas and never will be.


After Xehanort-Ansem-Xemnas is defeated, there is a single, clear moment when Lea is at peace. He's bleeding profusely, his magic is nearly dry, and he's so wounded that he wonders if he'll die, but he is at peace.

And then reality comes crashing down on him and all the emotions he forced back once he became whole surge forward. He's a sobbing, choking mess in seconds and he doesn't care _who_ sees. The war is won but what about the only damn thing that Lea cares about? What about his friend, Roxas? The Nobody who gave him a heart, a reason to live, _to die_? Why does Lea get a second chance but not Roxas?

"Lea!" At the sound of _that_ voice, Lea sobs harder and curls in on himself. It hurts too much, this ache in his heart. He misses Roxas so fucking much and _it's not fair_.

Someone touches him, hands rough but gentle and familiar, and he can pretend for a moment that Roxas is still alive. Can pretend that everything will be alright.

Reality is shattered as he gazes up into familiar blue eyes that aren't Roxas' and Lea can't take much more of this. He doesn't think it's possible to hurt as much as he does but it is and he does. His breathing turns erratic and those awful hands find purchase with his shoulder, pulling him onto a warm chest. He buries his face in the Not Roxas' neck, breathing in his scent.

"I'm sorry," Ventus apologizes, lips trembling, eyes watering. He knows how much Roxas means to Lea-hell, part of him _is_ Roxas and remembers the times they spent together-but he can't make Roxas appear. Roxas is well and truly gone, absorbed into both him and Sora. His own heart aches for Lea. Lea doesn't speak, probably can't speak due to all the tears, but Ventus can hear all the accusations behind those tears.

 _Why can't you give me Roxas?_

Ventus closes his eyes and pulls Lea closer protectively, openly sobbing with him. He rubs Lea's back comfortingly, fingers gentle in their ministrations. Lea can _almost_ pretend that this is Roxas, who miraculously survived and has his own body.

Surprisingly, no one disturbs the two, not even _Sora_ , who _must_ feel the same tug and ache in his own giant heart. It's only when the midday sun becomes too hot and unbearable that they part. Lea's face is as red as his hair, the hours of sobbing taking its' toll. Ventus is only slightly better.

"He gave me a _heart_. I love him so much," Lea whispers, hiding his face in his hands. Ventus smiles gently, his hands threading through Lea's massive mane. He can feel an echo of Roxas on the fringes of his heart, which swells until he can't take it anymore. Softly, he kisses Lea's forehead.

"He loves you as well, Lea, _Axel_. Got it memorized?" Lea chokes out a laugh, it's full of warmth and hurt, then sways. Ventus supports him as he collapses from the exhaustion, the wounds festering in his body and heart.

"I don't know what I'll be able to do for you, if anything at all, but I will stay by your side," Ventus whispers to Lea's unconscious form as their mutual friends race to their side with shouts of alarm.

Lea smiles for the first time in a while, and a little piece of his shattered heart heals.

* * *

I have no excuse for lunacy it's like 12 PM. Friend got me into the Lea/Roxas pairing and god damn can it be angsty as hell considering Roxas isn't real anymore. Lea's totally in love with Roxas, like goddamn did anyone else watch Axel die? Also, I have moments when I feel like a Nobody and moments when I'm a Somebody, so like, emotions overwhelm me and I figured Lea would be overwhelmed once it hit him that he's _never going to see his Roxas again_. Hahah I am here to wreck people up. When you lose people that close to you, of course you'd be a broken mess, and I hope I conveyed that with all the crying. idk tho.


End file.
